Last year I posted about funny little phrases Dad would get stuck on as his "go to" replies.
Today I became aware of one that is not so funny. I can think of two people who have told me Dad said this to them, and today during my afternoon vist, he said it to me. It goes something like this:
"I have always told people that when they hear of my death, they should not cry or be sad. Instead, they should shout, 'Hallelujah!' But I cannot do that about Mom."
His eyes were moist as he spoke, which in our family of origin is the equivalent of curling up in the fetal position and bawling your eyes out.
I desperately hope that Dad is repeating this thought word-for-word because he is trying to process a bewildering new emotion, along with the concept of life not being quite as black-and-white as he previously believed. It would just be too cruel if this thought is occurring to his somewhat diminished brain as a new, painful revelation each time.
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Thanks, Gwen, for sharing this tidbit.
ReplyDeleteIt is a rare glimpse into Dad's vulnerability emotionally, and it makes me love him all the more.
For someone who once told me he was convinced Jesus would return in his lifetime, to instead lose one's help-meet in one's lifetime is a severe reversal. Hard to "rage" against such a tide.
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