Book Review

I've come across a really good book, Taking Care of Parents Who Didn't Take Care of You by Eleanor Cade. The subtitle is Making Peace with Aging Parents. It is not so much a how-to book, more of a philosophy book. I read it with a colored pencil in hand and could fill a journal with the quotes I've highlighted.

Let me explain that my parents were not abusive or physically neglectful. CPS would never knock on our door and see unfit parenting. (Well, maybe that time I was allowed to ride the bus from Tulsa to Oklahoma City by myself sometime before the age of 9, but I guess things were different in the '70s.) My parents generously provided their children with food, clothing, shelter, education, transportation and more.

I do however feel that our family certainly had its fair share of dysfunction. And still has to this day. Thus the relevance of this book. I especially like this bit from the introduction:

"Taking Care of Parents Who Didn't Take Care of You...is about letting go of the past and coming to terms with the present. It's about grieving over what we didn't get and learning to appreciate what we did get. It's about acceptance and making peace. It's about discovering that it's possible to do what has to be done -- and to find healing in the process.

Taking care of our parents is an opportunity. We have the chance to break the cycle of our childhood experience, to let go of whatever neglect and inattention we suffered, and to begin a new era in our family's history. We can discover a gentleness within ourselves as we come to terms with old issues and choose a new role, one of compassion, caring, and love."

More quotes and commentary to come. Must go now to the pool to celebrate Swim a Lap Day. Yes, really.