I like rollercoasters. I like the anticipation, the thrill, the surprise, the speed, the drops, the fun jumbled-up feeling. I like tumbling out at the end, laughing with my friends (and that includes any willing children of mine), and running around to do it all again. It's exciting and invigorating and, well, fun.
This rollercoaster is not fun. I don't like anything about it. It is exciting, but in a bad way. It is not invigorating. It wears me out. It wears us all out.
Dad is weaker again. He is not walking today. He has lost most of the function in his right hand. His left eye is still not cooperating. He is wheezy again. Mealtime is taking longer and longer. Loren said about two hours for lunch today. The body fluids are really collecting and it looks so uncomfortable. Of course, he does not complain.
I don't want to ride the rollercoaster anymore.
P.S.--Loren texted Sunday morning to say Dad was feeling better. I asked if he was really better or just saying his line, "I'm much better today." Loren said he was really better, walking around and lucid. I guess my dad likes rollercoasters too.
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my thoughts also. Thanks Gwen. not fun.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard not knowing if Dad will be up or down, whethere this is his last day, or if he has weeks, months... Life and its struggles continue to try us in ever way--physically, emtionally and spritually. As a family, we are fighting together, and saying to death,"You will take him, but you will not win." And we try to ease his journey day by day.
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