Mom and Dad have been having some visitors lately. I have come to believe that end-of-life visitors fall into two categories:
1) Those Who Come to Give, and
2) Those Who Come to Get.
I know nothing is all that cut and dried, but in general terms this is my observation so far.
After one such visit, I shook my head and wondered aloud, "Why in the world did those people come by?" They came in their fancy car, dumped their personal tales of woe on my unsuspecting parents, stayed too long, sucked all the air right out of the room before they finally left. My dad apologized that he just couldn't stay awake for their visit. Who would want to? What the heck? After we bounced a few ideas around, Ruth posited that this particular couple just needed to come for their own benefit. I think she's right.
On the other hand, I also witnessed a lovely visit from a child of a long-ago friend of my parents. Charlie is my age, was a good friend of my brother, is single. Not the most likely of visitors to a pair of ailing octogenarians to whom he is not related. Charlie arrived with a simple hearty dinner he had cooked, as well as jars of produce he had grown and canned. He sat and visited quietly with my parents. Loren said he stayed for dinner, then left soon afterwards. A total gentleman, oozing care and respect for my parents. He came to give. And our lives are better for it.
Oh, another funny note about the unpleasant visit. After the visitors left, I noticed Dad didn't have his hearing aids in. I'm sure it was much better that way!
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Two unrelated comments--Anne from Switerland thinks that the double vision and the not being able to stand for a few days, then getting better could be from a small stroke. Her father also went through this a few years ago...
ReplyDeleteAnd I showed Gabriel the pictures on the blog and he insisted that the pictures of Gwen were his grandma! Thank you Gabriel!
Who knows? The hospice nurse is going to ask the doctor about Dad's symptoms. Maybe he'll have some insight. I'd buy the stroke theory.
ReplyDeleteWell, Gabriel and Gpa agree! One day last week he kept calling me Gayle. :)
Love you, Gwen, and am praying for you daily. I wish I were close enough to be the kind of visitor that gives....I'd add my tribe's efforts to the blitzkrieg or happily just sit over coffee and listen. Praying for your mom, dad, and siblings as you all walk this winding path together.
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