He Knows

At least he did yesterday. When Meg, Nate, Ev and I went to visit Dad after church yesterday, he seemed really good. Sitting up in his wheelchair, very alert and bright eyed, breathing sounded good, and no oxygen. While we were visiting, he made a statement like: "You can't always tell how things are going to work out. I always thought I would die before Mom. Now it looks like it might be the other way around." I wasn't sure exactly what information he had, so I just mostly let him talk on that subject. I did ask him if he had thought about his care if Mom were to pass away before him. After he ascertained that I was not asking him to commit to a permanent arrangement right then and there, he admitted that he liked the idea of what Grandpa Peycke had done, staying with different children.

Later, I asked Mom if she had been talking more with Dad about her cancer. She said she had because a friend had visited Dad and brought up the subject. When the friend realized that Dad didn't know about any of it, he suggested Dad ask Mom. He did ask and Mom did tell. I don't know how much Dad remembers day to day about it. Like this morning, when he called Mom five times at home, asking her to bring bananas. And making plans to take her out to breakfast. At least he's mostly sweet in his dementia. :) He was still pretty off when we visited him this afternoon. Mom was there too and she seemed especially down. As I told the kids in the truck, this is just a hard, sad part of their lives.