A Plan

I called Mom today and visited for a bit. She said, "Happy days are here again!" It was nice to hear her so positive about Dad. :) She sounded excited about Ruth and Rich and family coming for Christmas, and asked if Ev and Nate could come decorate next week.

So, my plan is to call once a week on Mondays. I know Gayle calls once a week on Saturdays, so I would think that would be acceptable to Mom. We will go over one day after school next week for Ev and Nate to decorate, since Mom requested it. We won't go over unless Mom (or Dad) asks.

I don't know why I was thinking it would be palatable to Mom and Dad to see us and talk to us more often. I guess I was figuring that this was a different stage of life and things would be different. (Guess I was wrong about that.) From an interesting book by Eleanor Cade: "Denial is when we think we can set aside old issues and build a new relationship with our parents. We tell ourselves that things will be different this time, that our parents have changed. What we're denying is our own feelings, perhaps anger or abandonment or betrayal. We're also denying the very real possibility that nothing has changed, that our parents will be just as they always were."

And honestly I thought Dad's care was more than one person could handle well. (Still think I'm right about that.) In any case, we'll go back to pretending like everything is fine.