Monday, November 16, 2009

Dilemma

Next week is Thanksgiving. I don't think any of my siblings are coming in. Dave's sister in Austin has offered to host his family at her house; Dave would like to go. My folks would be welcome to join us; my folks would never go. On general principle, I would want to stay home and share Thanksgiving dinner with my folks. I can't bear to think of them spending a family holiday alone.

Here's where it turns into a dilemma. Today I called Mom to see how things were going and to visit. (I've been out of circulation because I've had dizziness, headaches, nausea and fatigue. Went to the doctor today and he said I'm dizzy. Wow.) She said they were doing fine. She wanted to talk about her niece who called to say she was moving away from her mom (my mom's older sister). The niece thinks this is a good move because she "tends to tell her mom what to do." Okay. Then Mom follows up this story by telling me that when people at our church ask her how she and Dad are doing, she tells them: "We are doing great now that the kids are gone." Okay.

Maybe it's the dizziness, but I'm getting a distinct Go Away and Leave Us Alone message here. So, when a person sends you that message, do you just go away and leave them alone? On Thanksgiving? Really?

Which I guess is a microcosm of the big question here. When someone tells you to go away and leave them alone, do you do it? Even if you think they need your help? Really?

2 comments:

  1. Gwen, you are really putting up with a lot.
    Thanks for being there right in the thick of things.
    My "Peyckishness" makes me very uncomfortable thinking about having to tell Mom and Dad what they need to do, and even more uncomfortable when they tell me to bug off.

    We know Mom doesn't like to tell Dad what to do, and I think she especially doesn't like being put in the position of having someone else tell her what needs to be done when Dad doesn't want it to be done. She feels she's inbetween a rock and a hard place.
    So Gwen, keep being solid.

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  2. well, it is great to stay involved, like the Saturday you and family went over and played piano etc. also be available like you are. Thanks for being there for them!
    Enjoy T day with Dave at his sisters! Sounds like mom and dad enjoy when their childen and grand children come by and when they are alone. and old age does have its difficulities and we are all sinners saved by grace....

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