Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Conversations

Mom: [as she climbs into bed for a diaper change] What do you think "the shadow of death" means?

Gwen: [pause, pause, pause, think, think, think] I guess I think of it as the fearsome proximity of death. So close you can see its shadow. Not death itself yet, but it's nearby. What do you think "the shadow of death" means?

Mom: I think it means, you know, a shadow. [Pause. during which I refrained from laughing at the typical Mom obscurity.] That because of God, it's not real. It's just a shadow.

Ah. Interesting.

Mom: [as I'm wheeling her around outside to look at flowers, buds, leaves, etc.] I talked to Ruth. She is coming in April.

Gwen: I don't know. I'm not sure if she should come. Are you going to be nice to her?

Mom: Am I going to be NICE?

Gwen: That's what I'm asking. You were mean to Gayle.

Mom: I know I was.

Gwen: So I'm wondering. You were so hard on Gayle and that would be very hurtful to Ruth. She can't take it like Gayle can. She's our delicate flower.

Mom: What do you mean she can't take it? She's married to Rich!

Oh my. So wrong.

Gwen: [joining Mom as she sits by the front window, watching Mittens] I gave your kitty my old leftover fish and some old leftover chicken from the fridge.

Mom: I think I've had that fish before! It was unforgettable, but I can't remember.

Gwen: [refrains from laughing]

Mom: Where did you get it?

Gwen: Pappasito's. Our anniversary dinner.

Mom: Oh. [sort of sadly] When do I get some?

Gwen: I just gave it to your cat!

Mom: Oh!!! [whimpers]

Gwen: It was old, Ma! And it was just a little piece.

(Later during following diaper change.)

Mom: [whimpers]

Gwen: Are you okay?

Mom: Yes, I'm still getting over the fish.

Gwen: [does not refrain] Hahahahaha! Mom!

Oh man. Food is love.

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