Sunday, September 4, 2011

Filter

I can't remember if I've written about it before, but I've been shocked to discover over the past few years that my mom is a racist. I don't remember ever hearing Mom or Dad say anything negative about other races in my childhood years. I'm very thankful that they raised us without racial prejudice, which makes it all the more baffling when I hear Mom now. For a while, she would just mention innocuous things, which I would politely ignore.

Then there was an incident when Dad was hospitalized in Houston a couple of years ago. Mom kept commenting (loudly) about all the different races represented in Dad's care team. And then.

Mom (thinking she is complimenting): These people have taken such good care of Dad. (Insert race here) people just like to serve.

Gwen (hissing): Mom! Don't say that!

Mom (taken aback): What would be a nicer way to say that?

Gwen (begging): Just don't say it! There is no nice way to assign a personality trait to an entire people group based on their skin color! Please just don't say things like that.


Yikes!

Fast forward a couple of years. Karis told me about a recent interaction with her grandma.

Mom/Grandma: I'm going to call the city and tell them to clean that (insert another race here) graffiti off the road sign in front of the house. I agree with Rudy Guliani that it should be taken care of right away.

Karis: Grandma, don't call it that!

Mom actually told me of her plan, using the same identifying racial group. I asked her how she knew it was from that group. Different language? Nope, just looked like it.

Oh boy. I'm glad she has Karis to be her external filter. BTW, the city cleaned up the sign right away. Even without the intrinsic filter, Mama's got the mojo.

3 comments:

  1. She certainly never was racist in any way shape or form in younger years. Mom was horrified at her sister's comments just a few years ago, which were racist. Let's just admit that she is aging and remember the first 88 years or so were without such thoughts...

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  2. You know, I had forgotten about that incident with Aunt Helen. You are so right. I would much rather think this is not who she really is.

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  3. I think when they get to the point that your mom is at, they say things they never would if they were totally in their right mind! It is hard to divorce the words from the person, but it is most likely really not "your mom" speaking!!!

    Hugs as you navigate these tumultuous waters, friend!!

    Love you!! XOXO

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