is a very very very fine house. But I don't think we will live in it much longer. We've arranged with Mom to move in with her when she can no longer care for herself. Mom continues to tool along and give only the smallest indications that she might someday succumb to cancer. Just looking at her, you might not guess that she is on Month 9 of the doctor's prediction of a 6-8 month timeline.
But she's nesting. When Gayle was here for a week this month, Mom's focus was closet cleaning. Gayle dutifully hauled years of accumulation out of five closets. We helped here and there, wiping dust and mildew away with vinegar solution and sorting. But mostly dear Gayle worked and wheezed. I was puzzled about Mom's obssession with the closets until Gayle revealed the reason: Mom wants us to have a place to put our things when we move in to care for her. Ah.
Now Mom is hiring our friend Perry to come to paint the closets. Which is really nice! I think a coat of Kilz and a fresh layer of paint would be lovely and do a lot to dissipate the mildew. And who wouldn't like a fresh closet? But Mom is not stopping there. Her list for Perry is growing. She is concerned that I will hate her house if I have to live in her pink bedroom with the flower border. She wants the master bathroom wallpaper stripped and the cabinets repainted. She wants me to pick out paint colors.
Mom's nesting on our behalf is incredibly nice, but I'm concerned that Mom's house stay her house until she's done with it. Of course I don't relish a pink bedroom. But shouldn't it stay the way Mom wants it while the house is still hers? That house is so very important to her. You know how men's identities are tied up in their work? I think a lot of Mom's identity is tied up in her house. I would hate to remove any of that now.
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I think you should allow your mom to bless you by choosing new paint colors. She wants you to feel at home too. (hugs)
ReplyDeleteI talked with mom this evening and she is pleased and honored that you would make her house your house. She feels blessed that she gets to see spring and work in the yard since she thought she would be gone by now. The yard is still hers, but it appears she is thinking the house is yours! (there are probably some unknown limits...) It is cool that Perry has the time now. nicely stated by Julie.
ReplyDeleteMom talked to me about your concern that it remain looking like her house. She is really excited about getting a glimpse of what the house will be when it is yours... And she doesn't live in her master bedroom anymore, anyway. She thinks you have great taste and style, and she is going to enjoying seeing what you pick out. Go for it!
ReplyDeleteAlso, for the first time in my life, I didn't get sick while at Mom's house! I brought all my meds and anitbiotics, as I usually have to call my allergist and get some at CVS, but this time, while working in the moldy closets, I didn't even wheeze much! Special grace!
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