Confessor's Remorse

Today Mom called me with a serious case of confessor's remorse. She had taken her last drive through town and was second guessing the idea of giving up driving. She was wishing she had never mentioned growing weaker to anyone, because then she could still drive. Happily, she talked with the hospice nurse, who reassured her that giving up driving was the best thing for her. Now Mom wants to know when Karis can come get the car.

Mom was also very unhappy with the idea of my brother Loren driving down to visit her next week. Loren had a little bout of detached retina recently and cannot fly for two months. Mom is concerned about his safety driving so soon after eye surgery. On the other hand, she was also unhappy about my brother Bill driving down to visit her. She wants to be alone. I posited that the boys might need to come for their own sakes, not just for hers; my brothers need to see their mama. Mom thought she might call and try to talk reason with them. *sigh*

And Mom has an alternate plan. She feels it would be good for her to fly to visit Loren for a couple of weeks; fly to visit Ruth and work in her garden; and fly to see Cathy's (Bill's wife) goats. She does not want me to travel with her. I asked her about walking through the airport and how that coincided with the doctor telling her not to walk alone through the neighborhood. She said she would take her walker. I asked how she would pull her suitcase. She said, "With my hand."

Oh my gosh. There is so much fundamentally wrong with this plan. I'm praying Mom will continue to realize how weak and tired she is simply with the activities of daily living, not to mention jetting across the country. And of course, I'm the travel agent; so when it comes right down to it, I hold the cards. I'm just not looking forward to being the boss again.