Out with the Old, In with the New

This morning I sat down to transfer all my info from my old 2010 planner into my new 2011 planner. It is actually a desk planner, but I carry it in my purse. I take notes, mark appointments, stash papers, carry addresses. It is pretty much my brain extension.

My old planner is beat up, jammed with papers, full of notes from doctor visits and conversations, frayed around the edges, adorned with "visitor" stickers from Solara. It contains lists like what to pack to send to the funeral home with Dad and who to contact with news. It also carries work schedules, orthodontist appointments, playdates, birthday celebrations and travel plans. Full of dying and death. Full of life and living.

My new planner is thin, tidy and clean. Spotless, really. I've added some orthodontist and dentist appointments. I'll input school functions. I have my work schedule ready to tuck in for next week. I've marked Mom's and Loren's birthdays in January. I've also added the list of people to contact with news of Mom's death. I wrote out all the grandsons' names again so I won't have to think about who the pallbearers are. The blank pages are ready for notes and conversations to be recorded. I know that on one of those pages, I will write the time and date of my mother's passing. Ready for another year of dying. Ready for another year of living.