Life with the Anti-Social

Today I picked Mom up in the afternoon to go to a bridal shower. Some time ago, when Mom received the invitation, I asked if she would like to go. When she said yes (!), I asked if she would like to ride with me. She said yes! And she asked if I would purchase a gift to be from the two of us. I said yes. :)

So off we went today, on a nice drive in the country. As we drove along, Mom and I chatted about various things. One topic was our upcoming trip to St. Louis. Mom was telling me about talking with Gayle. The more Mom talked about her conversation with Gayle, the more she started to question our trip to St. Louis.

Mom: "The more I hear about Mark's chorus, the more I wonder if we should be going on this trip."

Gwen: "What do you mean?"

Mom: "Well, they are both so busy. It is quite a production."

I reminded Mom that Gayle had invited her and assured her that we could help around the house while we were there. Mom is planning to bake cookies and bread and pack them in her suitcase to take to Gayle. I did point out that we had several occasions to wear clothes and would need to pack some.

At the shower, Mom seemed a little foggy and tired. She had a cup of coffee and some cake. She talked to the lady sitting next to her and watched some gift opening. Then she came across the room to where I was visiting with someone and asked if I thought it was time to go. So of course I did. On the way home, she asked if I had been ready to go. I told her I was ready to go when she was. A little later, after she asked what I had planned for the rest of the day, and I said I needed to do some laundry and write lesson plans, she pronounced that it was good we left early since I had so much to do.

Also on the way home, I asked Mom if any of my siblings had mentioned coming for Christmas.

Mom: "No. You know, I think Christmas is such an intimate family time. I don't expect anyone to come. I think St. Louis will be my Christmas."

Now, Christmas was never "an intimate family time" at our house. Was it? Am I just not remembering those moments? Surely I would remember something like that, right? I really think this is just Mom laying the groundwork for her "I vant to be alone" speech, which will come when we invite her to join us for Christmas, or ask to come by, or suggest spending Christmas together in any way. She seems to be gearing up for her traditional holiday isolation. I don't really know what to do about it, since she finds it acceptable to reject my overtures.

To top off her anti-social afternoon, Mom as usual tried to open the car door before we came to a complete stop in her driveway. Then when I put it in park and the doors unlocked, her door didn't unlock because she was lifting the handle. And as usual she asked:

Mom: "Why can't I get my door open?"

As usual I replied:

Gwen: "Because you tried to get out before the car came to a complete stop."

And she laughed, got out, and went into her house.