My cousin Jim came to visit Mom a couple of weekends ago. He is Dad's sister's son, and the impression I get is that Jim looks to my Mom and Dad as sort of parental figures in his life. I was corresponding with him about some family history he was interested in, and he let fly with this tidbit:
I enjoyed seeing your Mom and told her if somehow this drags on for a long time I'll come back to see her. I also discussed driving with her. She said you won't let her take your kids in the car with her any more and we talked about when she should stop driving. I told her that the legacy of injuring someone (or worse) would be a bad way to leave this world and perhaps she should consider giving her car to the kids and just having a cab pick her up for her errands and trips to the store. She thought that would work and said she'd talk to you about it.
It should come as no surprise that Mom has not breathed a word of this to me. If we don't talk about it, it isn't real, right?
I'm not quite sure what to do with this information. I really wasn't planning to tackle this issue. Mom hasn't driven my kids since she was diagnosed with TIAs some years ago. I just never thought periodic mini-strokes made for safe driving. Giving up driving would definitely cramp Mom's style. She relishes her freedom to run errands, grocery shop, attend two Bible studies and church, etc. She even drove herself out to our house for my birthday dinner.
Am I up for this fight? Is it necessary? Is it worth it? I dunno.
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Or perhaps her grandchild (Karis) could be the taxi driver. Or Meg. Goodness, they're all growing up so fast.
ReplyDeletetough decisions for you, I know.
I say let her keep driving herself for a while, but talk to her, and ask her to be honest with you as to when she should stop driving. Ask her if she has ever felt concerned about the possibility of hurting someone else in an accident.
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