Issues

Yesterday Mom's beloved Nurse Christy came to visit. Mom told Christy, "The nurse you sent was very good."

Pause.

"I'm not doing anything she said."

Classic. That should go on a t-shirt or a tombstone or something. Christy just laughed and said, "You need to take your lasix." She called the hospice doctor who said, "She can take the lasix and pee out the fluid, or she can not take the lasix and let the fluid leak out her legs." Ew.

Then Mom made a surprising confession to Christy. Mom revealed that she has been drinking her quart of water each day as usual, but has been passing very little urine. She said, "I should have been telling you, but it's been going on for such a long time..." Poor Mom! I'm so sorry she has been dealing with this issue for maybe a month now.

And poor Christy. She was shocked that Mom was withholding information. Which makes me wonder, has she thought me the crazy, controlling daughter all this time? Did she think Mom was forthcoming and I was just making things up? Of course Mom is withholding information! Even at this late date, Mom does not want to seem like she needs help. Her big concern yesterday was to make sure Christy told me I didn't need to be home with her all the time. So Christy told me I didn't need to be home. She thought it was fine to have one of the children here, with the understanding they would call me if Grandma needed help.

Christy ended up giving Mom a catheter last night. She was still able to get around with her walker and was actually very thankful to feel like her bladder was emptying. Have you ever known someone who was happy to get a catheter? Incredible. She must have felt miserable before. Mom went to bed early, tired but relieved. And very happy that I would be gone to work the next day.

Which is today. Today Dave, Ev, Meg and I left the house before Mom got up. Nate was on Grandma duty. Around 10:15, I received a call from Christy. She said Mom was having some "issues." The catheter had leaked in the night, leaving Mom and her bed soaked. She called Christy, who went right over. Christy cleaned Mom up, but when she worked on the catheter, she found that it was not inserting properly due to a blockage of some sort. Then they found that Mom no longer has bladder control. Mom was exhausted from the whole production and ended up staying in bed with a pull up on.

(Important to note here: Once again, Mom was spot on in refusing meds. Imagine if she had taken the lasix and all that accumluated fluid had been rerouted to her obstructed bladder. Bad bad bad. Of course, the medical professionals were operating under the illusion that they had complete and accurate information about their patient. Not a safe assumption in this case.)

Christy said she hated to ask, but thought it would be good for me to be home at least for today to see how things go. She was afraid Mom would be mad! I came right home (leaving my gracious bosses scrambling in my wake) and went in to see Mom. She was surprised to see me, but when I explained that Christy thought I should come home, Mom paused then said, "I agree." Whew. Mom has stayed in her hospital bed all morning, but asked Nate to come turn her Bose on to Rush (Limbaugh, you know). She has not wanted any food and has taken just a few sips of water.

Mom seems to be handling all these changes with her typical stoicism. She is incredibly tough. Dave and I agree that she seems happy about going, but fearful about the going. She is truly amazing. They just don't make them like this anymore.