Wishful Thinking

A few days ago, Mom told me that hospice had left a message on her answering machine and asked her to call back. Mom thought they were calling to tell her they would have to revoke her hospice care. She felt that since she is doing so well and "has no symptoms", she didn't qualify any longer. Okay.

Points I thought of but did not mention:

1) I'm pretty sure a terminal diagnosis qualifies you for hospice, even if you are currently symptom-free.

2) Symptom: Weight Loss. Last I asked, Mom was down to 110. She used to be 5'10", although I know she has shrunk. She is extremely thin, in any case.

3) Symptom: Fatigue. Sleeping longer at night, napping more in daytime, very tired before nap or bed time. Noticeable change in energy levels.

4) Symptom: Loss of bowel control. I realize bc has not been great since colo-rectal surgery 20 years ago, but not like this. Embarrassing, life-restricting, unaffected by diet control. :(

Mom called this morning and asked if I could pick her up for lunch. We had a lovely bowl of soup at Panera together. On the way there, Mom brought up the hospice call. She said Nurse Christy called her back to say she had a prescription for Mom to help with the diarrhea.

Mom: I don't know why I had it in my head that they were going to release me from hospice.

Gwen: I think maybe it was wishful thinking.

Mom: Well, I guess it shows I still want to live!

Gwen: Yes, I love your positive attitude, Mom.

Mom: It is easy to be positive when you feel so good. [Please see numbers 2-4 above.]

Gwen: I don't know, Mom. I think you are positive even when you don't feel good. Like Dad. Even when things were so hard for him, he still wanted to get up and around every day.

Mom: He was really looking forward to his birthday. He wanted to be 89. And Thanksgiving.

Gwen: Right, but even just on regular days, he was happy to be here. I think you are that way too.