Advice

Karis and I were driving along together last week. I was telling her about some ideas to get us out to a little farm. One thought was to live in a travel trailer for a bit while we renovate a farm house. I was extolling the benefits of having a travel trailer to use as guest house, man cave, sleep over room, extra room if ever needed to accomodate Grandma and Grandpa, etc. I really appreciated the conversation that followed.

Karis: Well, don't tell Grandma that it could be for her.

Gwen: Uh, okay.

Karis: I could give you some advice about Grandma. I'm not trying to sound like I know her better than you or anything, but Grandma and I are a lot alike.

Gwen: Okay.

Karis: When Grandma says something like she doesn't call because she's afraid you will come, don't be like, "Of course I will come!"

Gwen: (looks quizzical)

Karis: I read your blog. Anyway, say something like, "Okay, I won't come if you don't need me to. I just want you to call and let me know."

Oh. Just those few thoughtful words made me realize that I'm turning everything into a fight. I'm so confident that I'm right and Mom is wrong. So here I am, at loggerheads with Mom, and only making her more sure I will do what she doesn't want. Not exactly engendering trust or conveying honor. I'm so glad I have a relationship-wise daughter to help me see a better way. Thanks for the advice, Karis. Please let me know if you have any more!