My sister Gayle had such a nice visit with Mom. They had fun with my cousin for a few days, reminiscing, playing, getting to know each other again. Then, they got down to business. Mom really wanted Gayle to clean out closets! So she did, asthma and allergy meds in hand.
But this visit seemed to go beyond the practical. Gayle stayed for an entire week, but as her departure date approached, Mom asked, "Are you sure you have to go? Are you sure you couldn't stay?" I know that might sound normal for many people, but it is so un-Mom it is stunning. I don't think I have ever heard her express a desire for anyone to stay longer. Ever.
The night before Gayle left, Mom caught some sort of cold or virus and "had a tickle in her throat". Translated to mean: She couldn't stop coughing. Mom told me with teary eyes how Gayle got up in the night and tended to her. She was touched with the role reversal (and loved the port as cough syrup!).
Gayle said Mom was even tender at the farewell, giving her a full, real hug (not the usual "post") and telling her she loved her. A rare and precious gift.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Shower the People You Love with Love
"Are you trying to bury me with valentines???"
That's what Mom said when we appeared at her door with a red and pink gift bag on Valentine's Day. Bear in mind, she's not a gift-giving occasion kind of gal. I remember giving small Valentine's gifts to my family members when I was in high school and my mom wondering what I was doing. This year, poor Mom had to endure:
*Chocolate dipped strawberries from Shari's Berries
*Roses
*An azalea with large balloon
*A royal blue velour JLo suit
*And of course, the singing valentine
She even got a sweet old-timey valentine from her Bible study leader. Bless her tough-as-nails heart. What's an old crustacean to do?
That's what Mom said when we appeared at her door with a red and pink gift bag on Valentine's Day. Bear in mind, she's not a gift-giving occasion kind of gal. I remember giving small Valentine's gifts to my family members when I was in high school and my mom wondering what I was doing. This year, poor Mom had to endure:
*Chocolate dipped strawberries from Shari's Berries
*Roses
*An azalea with large balloon
*A royal blue velour JLo suit
*And of course, the singing valentine
She even got a sweet old-timey valentine from her Bible study leader. Bless her tough-as-nails heart. What's an old crustacean to do?
Friday, February 18, 2011
My Funny Valentine
Last Saturday morning, as Meg, Ev and I were on our way to the laundromat, I received a text that made me laugh out loud. Okay, I admit it, I snorted.
Ev: "Mom! You snorted!"
Gwen: "You will too when you hear this!"
It was a text from my sister Gayle, who was in town visiting Mom. Don't read further if you've just taken a drink.
"Mark has hired a singing valentine male quartet to come between 1 and 3 on sunday to the house. What time do you think we will be home from the church dinner?"
Oh my goodness! Some things you just never expect to read on your phone screen. There was much speculation about Mom/Grandma's reaction to the valentine arrangements, but in the end, she loved it. (And no, they weren't str*ppers.)
Ev: "Mom! You snorted!"
Gwen: "You will too when you hear this!"
It was a text from my sister Gayle, who was in town visiting Mom. Don't read further if you've just taken a drink.
"Mark has hired a singing valentine male quartet to come between 1 and 3 on sunday to the house. What time do you think we will be home from the church dinner?"
Oh my goodness! Some things you just never expect to read on your phone screen. There was much speculation about Mom/Grandma's reaction to the valentine arrangements, but in the end, she loved it. (And no, they weren't str*ppers.)
In the Shape of a Heart
My cousin came to visit my mom last week. She brought with her a little rose quartz heart. It had sat on my Aunt Helen's bedside table. As Aunt Helen's time grew shorter, she instructed her daughter to bring the little heart to my mom. And so she did. Now it sits on an old family blanket chest. A sweet little memento of undying sisterly love, in the shape of a heart.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Only Love
My husband writes an article for our monthly church newsletter. It is a short thing; it has to fit on a third of a sheet of 8.5x11 paper. This month the paper is pink, for Valentine's. As Dave was musing over what to write, he made the mistake of asking me for a topic. Being the hopeless romantic I am, I said something like, "How about death and loss and grief?" Being the thoughtful man he is, he did.
I keep reading it over and over. So much truth and comfort in such a small space. I asked him if I could share it here. And being the generous man he is, he said yes.
Dear CBC Family, (February 2011)
Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar
From “Magnificent,” U2, in No Line on the Horizon, 2009.
Love hurts.
To love is to take unabashed delight in pursuing the loved person’s ultimate good. Loving another stretches our capacity to be truthful, to overlook, to be steadfast, to understand. Love is just out there.
Love gleefully cheers us onward and upward to become closely attached at the heart. No thinking person would do that. Love leaves quite a mark when the loved one is lost.
Love and loss. There’s a combo for you. How do we carry out our existence in our newfound loneliness?
We cope with hope. Resurrection and reunion are key components helping a burdened heart crawl toward joy. Experience loss? Experience the truth of Scripture.
Jesus takes us further down this path. He fleshed out his grief in words and tears at the home of his good friend Lazarus.
God designed grief to heal those who give their hearts away. Good grief experiences the love of God blossoming in the heart. Only love, God’s love can heal such a scar.
Love and blessings,
Dave
I keep reading it over and over. So much truth and comfort in such a small space. I asked him if I could share it here. And being the generous man he is, he said yes.
Dear CBC Family, (February 2011)
Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar
From “Magnificent,” U2, in No Line on the Horizon, 2009.
Love hurts.
To love is to take unabashed delight in pursuing the loved person’s ultimate good. Loving another stretches our capacity to be truthful, to overlook, to be steadfast, to understand. Love is just out there.
Love gleefully cheers us onward and upward to become closely attached at the heart. No thinking person would do that. Love leaves quite a mark when the loved one is lost.
Love and loss. There’s a combo for you. How do we carry out our existence in our newfound loneliness?
We cope with hope. Resurrection and reunion are key components helping a burdened heart crawl toward joy. Experience loss? Experience the truth of Scripture.
Jesus takes us further down this path. He fleshed out his grief in words and tears at the home of his good friend Lazarus.
God designed grief to heal those who give their hearts away. Good grief experiences the love of God blossoming in the heart. Only love, God’s love can heal such a scar.
Love and blessings,
Dave
Friday, February 4, 2011
All Good
The power is still on. The snow/ice was much lighter than anticipated. The roads are mostly dry. Our county did a bang up job getting our roads ready and then by this afternoon the skies were a little bit sunny. Still awfully cold, but by Sunday we should be back in the 60's. Where we belong.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Baby It's Cold Outside
Sunday, we had a high of 74* and a low of 60*. Then Tuesday, we had a high of 66* and a low of 22*. For the past two days, we have had highs in the 30's and lows in the 20's. I know many people endure temperatures hovering around freezing for months at a time; they are made of sterner stuff than we are! This is just crazy cold for us. And to top it off, we are forecast to get snow/freezing rain tonight and tomorrow. The snow/ice is expected to stick because of the unusually chilly ground temps. School is cancelled and we are looking forward to a fun snow day at home.
I called Mom today to see if I could pick up anything from the store for her. I asked her if she had enough wood to burn for 24 hours, in case we lose power. I'm anticipating a lot of icy limbs down. There have already been outages due to frozen water pipes at power plants. Really, I'm not kidding when I say we are not cut out for this kind of weather around here.
Of course, there was nothing I could do for Mom. I was pleased to hear Hospice had called to check on her already. Her friends had brought a fresh supply of firewood. She did let me give her a ride home from a memorial service today (yes, more death) because her ride was staying to help serve dinner to the family and Mom did not want to stay.
On the way home, I asked Mom if she had brought extra wood inside.
She said yes.
I asked how many pieces.
She told me to go home.
Ev and I got out of the truck and each carried in a full armload of wood.
Mom had 5 pieces of firewood inside.
That woman!
I know Mom has to go sometime, from something. I would just prefer if she didn't freeze to death or crack her head open on the ice on my watch. We'll see.
I called Mom today to see if I could pick up anything from the store for her. I asked her if she had enough wood to burn for 24 hours, in case we lose power. I'm anticipating a lot of icy limbs down. There have already been outages due to frozen water pipes at power plants. Really, I'm not kidding when I say we are not cut out for this kind of weather around here.
Of course, there was nothing I could do for Mom. I was pleased to hear Hospice had called to check on her already. Her friends had brought a fresh supply of firewood. She did let me give her a ride home from a memorial service today (yes, more death) because her ride was staying to help serve dinner to the family and Mom did not want to stay.
On the way home, I asked Mom if she had brought extra wood inside.
She said yes.
I asked how many pieces.
She told me to go home.
Ev and I got out of the truck and each carried in a full armload of wood.
Mom had 5 pieces of firewood inside.
That woman!
I know Mom has to go sometime, from something. I would just prefer if she didn't freeze to death or crack her head open on the ice on my watch. We'll see.
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