Continuing Education

‎"Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor." --James 3:17-18 ,The Message

A dear friend of mine posted these verses on facebook this week. The truth of these Words sticks with me, needles me, won't leave me alone. It's like a pop quiz from God.

Is my life characterized by getting along with others?

Am I gentle and reasonable?

Overflowing with mercy and blessings?

Do I do the hard work of getting along?

Do I treat others with dignity and honor?

And I'd like to answer that it depends on the day, but God cleverly removed that loophole when He said, "not hot one day and cold the next."

Then I'd like to say it depends on whom we are speaking of, but God specified, "not two-faced."

Gah. It's like He knows me!

So I guess my honest answer has to be no, not always, but I'm working on it. I truly do desire for my life to be characterized by what is important to God. I love how realistic He is. He just comes right out and says, "do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor."

Ouch, yes. It is hard work.

I would love it if this record of the end of my parents' lives could be full of warm, fuzzy moments and smooth sailing to the other side. Wouldn't it be inspiring to read about our great relationship and unconditional love? Well, the truth is we are still doing the hard work. Sometimes I think it has just really begun in earnest.

My mom is a stereotypical "beaver" personality. She has always been extremely task-oriented, a doer extraordinaire. She does not like to talk. Being around people wears her out. As Nurse Christy observes, "I have never seen a person who wants to be alone as much as your mom." I think she would have been happy in some sort of isolated monastery, cloistered with her baking and books and nature.

Instead, God gave her five children, a permanent community where the hard work of getting along never ends. Mom was pondering an ongoing family crisis the other day and commented to me, "You know, it's all about relationship!" I asked her to expound and she said, "Like when you say something that ruffles my feathers and I say something that ruffles your feathers. It's all about relationship!" I couldn't agree more.

One of the things I really admire about Mom is her desire to continue learning and growing and changing. I hope that when I am in the twilight of my life, I am still embracing the relationships around me and moving towards people. It does not come naturally, especially for Mom, which makes me admire her all the more.

Do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. It is a worthy goal.