We had some wild and crazy lightning last night and somewhere in the mix it seems our computer or monitor or both got spiked. It sure sounded like something blew up. Very exciting and all, but now my internet access is pretty much limited to the public library.
I haven't heard from my mom. I'm enjoying time with my husband and children. Dave's mom is going to invite Mom over to share Christmas dinner with all of us. We will go by to fill Mom's stocking on Christmas Eve. And I'll go visit her on Monday for my weekly check-in.
Several of my friends have urged me to take the reins, so to speak, and force myself on my mom. I'm sorry, but I'm just not strong enough for that. Unless the hospice nurse tells me and Mom that kind of action is necessary, I will continue to honor Mom's wishes. I know bad things could happen. Time once again to face the fact that my mom would really, truly, literally rather die than be forced to have me and my family around.
I don't know when I'll be back online, so please text or call if you need to get in touch with me.
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Friend, it's not that she doesn't want you. It's that she doesn't want to *need* you. Or anyone - but especially not one of her children. Sometimes it's easier to rely on professional caregivers than adult children - that way we don't have to admit aging, admit need.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your mom feels so strongly about this.