Dismissed

I got fired today.

Not from Kohl's. They were kind enough to put me on leave.

Not from Brighter Vistas. They tell me repeatedly, "Family comes first."

Today, Mom asked me to go home.

I can't explain it. There are several theories floating around, but one guess is as good as another. Although it is not surprising in the big picture of who Mom is and how she rolls, it did catch me off guard since she has been so positive and thankful about me being there. Not to mention weak, tired, and needing help.

It is not a good time for me to leave. Karis has a dear friend in from out of town and will be spending every possible moment with her for the next three days. Even on normal days, Karis has a job and school and friends. She is in and out of the house. She is 18.

I asked Mom if I could stop by daily. No.
I asked if I could bring dinner. No.
I asked if I could move the kitty's dishes to the front porch so Mom wouldn't have to negotiate the back steps. No.

Mom said I could come once a week. I started packing.

Mom: Are you okay with all this?

Gwen: No! I'm not.

Mom: What do you think I should do?

Gwen: What you do is your decision. I think you need someone here most of the time. But I've thought that for a while. Remember Loren kept talking to you about that when he was here?

Mom: No, I don't remember that.

Gwen: Is there someone you want to talk this over with before you decide?

Mom: No one. I'm talking to you.

Gwen: I will go because you want me to go. But if you change your mind, I will come back. Just call me.

Mom: [crying] But I don't want to!

Gwen: You don't have to if you don't want to. It's up to you.

Back to packing and loading the car. When I came back into the kitchen, Mom was writing a check. She handed it to me. One hundred dollars. I tried to refuse it. Mom said, "It's not nearly enough. If I were to pay someone for all you did...", and I just lost it. I ripped the check up. Mom cried out as if in pain. I said with as much voice control as I could muster, "I will go if you tell me to go, but you cannot pay me for helping you!" Gah!

Meg had spent the night, so I went to wake her up. She gathered her things. I hugged and kissed Karis and Mom. We said goodbye and drove home. The crazy, unforeseen, unwanted end. For now.