It doesn't matter what you call him; he's the bomb, and he's mine. My mom loved my husband. LOVED him. Seriously. And Dave loved her too. After Dad died, Dave would take Mom out for lunch. They would eat good food and talk about life. Sometimes they would talk about Mom's desires concerning her memorial service. And Mom gave Dave a hard assignment: She wanted her service to be about marriage. Really? A funeral service about marriage? Yup. She even had Dave purchase copies of her newly-found favorite book on marriage to be given out at her service. Really? Party favors? Parting gifts? Yup. No standard discourse on Psalm 23 for my mom.
Dave wanted to honor Mom's wishes, and he wanted to honor Mom's life. I think he did both with his beautifully crafted words. I think they are an interesting combination of comforting and challenging. Here's the first part:
Anna’s Message
We have heard delightful stories of Anna’s life. Each one of you could add to these stories with your own. We have heard from those who loved Ann most deeply—her family. And she loved you. She gave focused attention to expressing her love to you over the last 18 months. She expressed her love to each child. She expressed her love to each grandchild. You were loved by Anna Adaline.
We have also heard the comforting words of Scripture, promises from God to His people of faith. Joel [my nephew] read to us of God’s love from Romans 8:37-39. David [my nephew] read to us from John 14:6. We cling to God’s promises because they generate hope. They bolster our confident expectation of what God is doing and will do. We serve a living God who keeps His word. We have hope because we can take Him at His Word.
We need hope. When you look at Ann’s family, you see mature and maturing individuals. You see people dependent on their Lord. You see people who love and respect one another. And you see human beings. Humans who will grieve in the coming days, weeks and months.
It seems as if the dark cloud of grief has been around since the medical profession pronounced its death sentence over two years ago. Urgency of six months gave way to wondering. Wondering gave way to more playing. Playing gave way to watching. Eventually, Anne’s body prepared to go home to Jesus. We are dumbfounded as to what to do next. What will life be like without Mom? Dad left two years ago. Now, Mom is gone.
God has given us the grief process to help us when attachments of the heart are dissolved. Mom won’t be here for us to share our thoughts and pictures and stories of children and grandchildren. We are new to this process. So there will be confusion, shock, guilt over things we’ve said; guilt over things we’ve left unsaid; anger at Mom, anger at God, anger at cancer, maybe even anger at each other. These things are normal. Emotions come and go as memories ebb and flow. We will have each other. More importantly, we will have our Lord. You do not walk alone as you deal with “Goodbye.” Jesus reminds us that He walks with us, never leaves us and offers us rest if we will trust Him with the burden. As Joel read, nothing can separate us from the love of Christ.
So we come to the message. If you have been to Celebrations I have led, you know that I typically personalize a passage to the individual’s life whom we are honoring. Today is a bit different.
I start off today by saying, “I hope that as you listen today, you will evaluate your own marriage or your own relationships.” Now that’s quite different for a Memorial Service! But I am serious! I am serious because Anna Peycke was serious! She requested a message on marriage based on Proverbs 27:17. She was so serious that she bought her favorite book on marriage (The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason) to give to you for coming today. We hope that we have enough to give one per family. When you leave today, you are invited to take one book per family, not family member, for as long as they last.
I mentioned Proverbs 27:17. Solomon wrote these words in that particular proverb…
“Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
Here in Texas, we are familiar with Harvey Penick’s “Little Red Book,” subtitled, “Lessons and Teachings from a Lifetime in Golf” (published when he was 88). He was noted as the greatest instructor regarding the mental side of the game of golf.
Today, Ann is going to be our iron to sharpen us with her Whispered Words of Wisdom. Wisdom is TRUTH APPLIED, not factual knowledge, not information, but skillful living. For the follower of Jesus, it is skilled godly living. Ann offers to us four comments today based on my conversations with her. I will call them, “Anna’s Whispered Words of Wisdom.”
[...more to follow.]
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