Gwen: [to Karis who is texting a friend] Tell him arguing and love are not mutually exclusive!
Mom: Oh, I think they are.
Gwen: You think arguing and love are mutually exclusive?
Mom: Well, how could you have both?
Gwen: Are you arguing with me?
Mom: Yes.
Gwen: Do you love me?
Mom: Yes.
Gwen: So they are not mutually exclusive!
Mom: Right!
Right.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Bad News, Good News
The bad news is Mom is sleeping more and more. She started taking four naps a day when Ruth was here and now it is the new normal. She can hardly stay awake for two hours at a time. Last night she was so tired that she went to bed at 6:15. 6:15! Tonight she managed to stay up until 7:30.
The good news is Mom no longer wants to watch Hannity!
The good news is Mom no longer wants to watch Hannity!
Say What You Need to Say, Part Deux
While Ruth was here, Mom's catheter really acted up. By the end of her stay, it was leaking all night, every night. Aggravating and exhausting for both Ruth and Mom. For the past two nights though it has worked and worked well. So when Nurse Christy came armed with fresh catheters today, Mom seemed a little hesitant about the change. Christy said although it was time for a change, Mom could wait if she wanted. Mom asked what I thought. I reminded her of the last time we waited and the ensuing bladder infection. Mom chose to change the catheter today.
The change seemed to go smoothly, although Christy was concerned that the catheter did not begin to draw immediately. She went on to see her next patient with the agreement that I would call if it didn't work. It didn't work. I called. She couldn't come back til the end of the day. Meanwhile, the lovely Cassandra/Carissa/Ceturah arrived. Mom wanted to shower, and as she stepped into the tub the catheter just fell out. Fell out. It was then that Mom told Cassandra, "I knew she didn't get it in." What???
I was standing in Karis and Meg's room as Cassandra related this information to me. She said Mom didn't tell Christy that the catheter wasn't in because she "didn't want to hurt her feelings." What??? Karis laughed and asked, "Since when?" (Love her.) I mean, really, concern for others' feelings has never been an overriding restriction for my mom! And what a time for it to kick in.
Cassandra made some calls and arranged for another nurse to come and fix Mom up with another catheter. This one works. Poor Mom! I'm sure she is sore and worn out from all that invasive work. I hope this one is a keeper.
And once again, I repeat my mantra:
What do I think?
What do I feel?
What do I want?
Say it!
The change seemed to go smoothly, although Christy was concerned that the catheter did not begin to draw immediately. She went on to see her next patient with the agreement that I would call if it didn't work. It didn't work. I called. She couldn't come back til the end of the day. Meanwhile, the lovely Cassandra/Carissa/Ceturah arrived. Mom wanted to shower, and as she stepped into the tub the catheter just fell out. Fell out. It was then that Mom told Cassandra, "I knew she didn't get it in." What???
I was standing in Karis and Meg's room as Cassandra related this information to me. She said Mom didn't tell Christy that the catheter wasn't in because she "didn't want to hurt her feelings." What??? Karis laughed and asked, "Since when?" (Love her.) I mean, really, concern for others' feelings has never been an overriding restriction for my mom! And what a time for it to kick in.
Cassandra made some calls and arranged for another nurse to come and fix Mom up with another catheter. This one works. Poor Mom! I'm sure she is sore and worn out from all that invasive work. I hope this one is a keeper.
And once again, I repeat my mantra:
What do I think?
What do I feel?
What do I want?
Say it!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Just When You Thought It was Safe to Look in the Bag...
Fair Warning: Not for the squeamish or faint of heart.
Mom has a little orange bag. It's cute. It has Snoopy on it. Mom uses it to tote her radio and headphones, bell, cell phone, and miscellaneous other items. Mom is very attached to the bag. She takes it everywhere with her. Going to sit by the window? Take the bag. Going for a nap? Take the bag. Going outside? Take the bag. Going to watch your program? Take the bag. You get the idea.
Mom has a crusty growth on her arm. It is not cute. It is the kind of thing that makes little children afraid of old people. It has sort of a circular area about 1/2 inch around, and out of that sticks a cone shaped growth about 1/4 inch high. I'm saying it's nasty. In her days of getting out and about, Mom had the doctor cut it off. It grew back. So now, Mom picks at it. As she sits by the window or lies in bed, she squeezes the raised part and twists it. It gives me the shivers, but what can I do?
Today after her morning nap, Mom showed me her arm and said, "Hey, Gwen. It's gone." Sure enough, the cone-shaped growth was gone. Mom said, "It just fell off." Uh, no. I countered with, "It didn't fall off! You picked at it until it came off." Mom said, "Well, it was falling off. I just helped it along." And she's very optimistic about it. "When the doc cut it off, it came back. I don't think it will come back this time." All well and good.
Then it occurred to me to ask, "Where is it now?"
And Mom answered, "I believe it's in my bag."
Cue the horror movie music.
Mom has a little orange bag. It's cute. It has Snoopy on it. Mom uses it to tote her radio and headphones, bell, cell phone, and miscellaneous other items. Mom is very attached to the bag. She takes it everywhere with her. Going to sit by the window? Take the bag. Going for a nap? Take the bag. Going outside? Take the bag. Going to watch your program? Take the bag. You get the idea.
Mom has a crusty growth on her arm. It is not cute. It is the kind of thing that makes little children afraid of old people. It has sort of a circular area about 1/2 inch around, and out of that sticks a cone shaped growth about 1/4 inch high. I'm saying it's nasty. In her days of getting out and about, Mom had the doctor cut it off. It grew back. So now, Mom picks at it. As she sits by the window or lies in bed, she squeezes the raised part and twists it. It gives me the shivers, but what can I do?
Today after her morning nap, Mom showed me her arm and said, "Hey, Gwen. It's gone." Sure enough, the cone-shaped growth was gone. Mom said, "It just fell off." Uh, no. I countered with, "It didn't fall off! You picked at it until it came off." Mom said, "Well, it was falling off. I just helped it along." And she's very optimistic about it. "When the doc cut it off, it came back. I don't think it will come back this time." All well and good.
Then it occurred to me to ask, "Where is it now?"
And Mom answered, "I believe it's in my bag."
Cue the horror movie music.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Goodbye, Sister
I was just loading up the dishwasher and put my sister's water glass in and it made me sad. Because she's gone. Ruthie left today after tucking Mom in for her morning nap. Ruth took such good care of Mom. They really had a great week together. Ruth tended to Mom so gently and sweetly. She played her violin. She sat and visited with Mom by the window and outside. Once, Ruth got Mom set up outside and came in the house. Mom called her on her cell phone and said, "Come sit in the lawn chair!" So sweet. Ruth was a trouper and Mom was on her best behavior.
I ran errands galore, took Meg to the doctor, got two fillings and a root canal plus a cleaning, worked with Nate to sort through his room at the lake house (*sob*), carted people hither and yon, took the dogs to the vet, and went on two dates with my husband. I am thankful for the change of pace and scenery. I am happy to take care of Mom, but there is definitely a sense of putting my head down and getting back to it.
Thank you, Ruth, for the refreshing break! I miss you already.
I ran errands galore, took Meg to the doctor, got two fillings and a root canal plus a cleaning, worked with Nate to sort through his room at the lake house (*sob*), carted people hither and yon, took the dogs to the vet, and went on two dates with my husband. I am thankful for the change of pace and scenery. I am happy to take care of Mom, but there is definitely a sense of putting my head down and getting back to it.
Thank you, Ruth, for the refreshing break! I miss you already.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Respite Repeat
Who knew I would be at this so long as to need another respite? Here we are, approaching the two month mark of Mom's dependence and my sister Ruth has come to tend to Mom this week. I am so thankful for Ruth's willingness and her capable, loving care for Mom.
For a while, it seemed Mom had reached a plateau, neither declining nor improving. But now she is showing signs again of wearing down, wearing out. She is headed toward four naps each day. It seems when she gets into bed for a change, her bed "feels so good," she decides to stay in it. This could be also connected to getting sore from sitting and sleeping on her back. Tonight Mom asked Ruth to prop her on her side. Mom did not verbalize discomfort (and of course never pain), but something must be up to make her move. And she's getting a new catheter tomorrow, a week ahead of schedule, sort of at her request. I'm guessing the old one must be painful, if Mom agrees to a catheter change out. That's what we have to do, guess, because Mom won't/can't/isn't aware enough to tell us if it hurts.
For my part, I have appointments scheduled every day this week. This morning, after taking Ev to school and Nate to educational therapy, Meg and I headed over for a follow-up with our wonderful functional medicine doctor. Dr. Caldwell is not satisfied with Meg's lack of healing so far, so she initiated a "full court press," which basically means a lot of nasty supplements to choke down for the next month. After receiving that bit of news, we picked up pet food, bought new tennies, and shopped at Sam's. We picked up Nate and went to the lake house. I worked in the garage until 3:30, then we cheered Ev on at her last softball game, and headed home.
A funny thing, my respite has not gone unnoticed by our credit union. They called this afternoon to make sure I was the one behind the sudden flurry of debit card activity yesterday and today. Nice of them to check. I thought about explaining my erratic spending habits, but just thanked the nice lady and hung up. And that won't be all. Tomorrow I'm getting a root canal, followed by two fillings Wednesday, a long overdue cleaning Thursday, then vet appointments for both dogs Friday. And somewhere in there, Dave and I want to go see Blue Like Jazz.
Whew. This respite is wearing me out.
For a while, it seemed Mom had reached a plateau, neither declining nor improving. But now she is showing signs again of wearing down, wearing out. She is headed toward four naps each day. It seems when she gets into bed for a change, her bed "feels so good," she decides to stay in it. This could be also connected to getting sore from sitting and sleeping on her back. Tonight Mom asked Ruth to prop her on her side. Mom did not verbalize discomfort (and of course never pain), but something must be up to make her move. And she's getting a new catheter tomorrow, a week ahead of schedule, sort of at her request. I'm guessing the old one must be painful, if Mom agrees to a catheter change out. That's what we have to do, guess, because Mom won't/can't/isn't aware enough to tell us if it hurts.
For my part, I have appointments scheduled every day this week. This morning, after taking Ev to school and Nate to educational therapy, Meg and I headed over for a follow-up with our wonderful functional medicine doctor. Dr. Caldwell is not satisfied with Meg's lack of healing so far, so she initiated a "full court press," which basically means a lot of nasty supplements to choke down for the next month. After receiving that bit of news, we picked up pet food, bought new tennies, and shopped at Sam's. We picked up Nate and went to the lake house. I worked in the garage until 3:30, then we cheered Ev on at her last softball game, and headed home.
A funny thing, my respite has not gone unnoticed by our credit union. They called this afternoon to make sure I was the one behind the sudden flurry of debit card activity yesterday and today. Nice of them to check. I thought about explaining my erratic spending habits, but just thanked the nice lady and hung up. And that won't be all. Tomorrow I'm getting a root canal, followed by two fillings Wednesday, a long overdue cleaning Thursday, then vet appointments for both dogs Friday. And somewhere in there, Dave and I want to go see Blue Like Jazz.
Whew. This respite is wearing me out.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Housekeeping
It might be time to vacuum when your mom thinks her catheter has leaked onto the carpet and it turns out to be a stray piece of yellow cellophane easter grass.
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